Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Adoption of Jasper

Adopt and save a life

Exactly one week ago we adopted a kitten from the Toronto Cat Rescue. I had seen the kitten online and although he wasn’t quite what I was looking for I agreed to a meet and greet.

In a way, I was afraid of meeting the kitten because I knew that once I met the little thing, I wouldn’t be able to walk away.

The kitten had been raised by a foster mother but was now housed in a Pet Value store. Upon entering the store I was directed to the adoption center and there he was … Jasper, a three-month-old ginger tabby. I knew right there and then that with me he would get his forever home.

It took some time to complete the paperwork and then we were on our way.

Once home I knew that the best way to introduce a new kitten to Holly, Halley, and Greyson, the resident cats, was to keep the newbie in a separate room and to gradually introduce the kitten to the adult cats.

But, Jasper had other ideas. Alone in my bedroom, he started a meowing concert Pavarotti would have been jealous of. To hear him cry was heartbreaking so I threw caution to the wind and let the little thing out.

When he noticed the three resident cats he promptly put his back up and fluffed out his tail. The reaction of the resident cats varied.

Holly sniffed Jasper and decided he wasn’t worth bothering with.

Halley smacked him on his head.

Greyson looked at him wild-eyed and made a hasty retreat.

So much for a warm welcome.

Today, a week later, things have changed.

Holly still doesn’t bother with Jasper. She a bit of a hoity-toity madam. She’s neither friendly nor unfriendly with the kitten, she merely tolerates him.

Halley can’t make up her mind whether she likes the kitten or not. One moment she plays with him, the next she chases him around the house. When she’s had enough, she retreats to her basket and surveys the goings-on from a safe distance.

Greyson is being chased by Jasper. The poor thing can’t sit or lie down anywhere without the little one nipping at his paws, playing with his tail, jumping on his back, or grabbing him in a headlock.

If nobody wants to play with the kitten, the kitten amuses himself. He has an array of toys and if he has a toy in his mouth he growls like a fierce lion. Other than that he jumps on the wall unit, digs around in a silk flower arrangement, swings around in the curtains, or just sits and enjoys the fresh air.

As for Jasper’s name … I knew that had to be changed. I knew a guy once called Jasper and he was a complete jerk. No way did I want a daily reminder about him. The kitten needed a new name.

I posted a message in a cat group on Facebook asked for name suggestions. The members were not short of inspiration and came up with several nice names, but none of them seem to fit. Out of all the suggestions I like Willian the best.

“How would you like to be called William?” I asked the kitten, and not a word of a lie, the little one shook his head. A coincidence I’m sure, but I decided not to go with William. And then I saw a picture of Nicolas Cage. Nicolas … Nic … yeah, that might work.

“Do you like the name Nic?” I asked the kitten. And you’re not going to believe this, but the kitten turned around and let out a loud meow. I took it that he was in agreement. Nic, it was.

No sooner was Jasper renamed Nic than he took a celebratory drink. That is to say, he tried to take a drink. He put one of his front paws on the bowl and managed to tip the whole bowl over. Water all over the floor. Nic, not liking his wet paws got the fright of his young life and fled to my bedroom. The result, wet paws that ran from the kitchen all the way to my room.

If Nic is a messy drinker, he’s also a messy eater. Rather than dipping his head into the dry nibbles bowl, he sticks his front paws into the bowl and scratches half the content of the bowl onto the floor. Then he proceeds to eat the nibbles off the floor.

Watching Nic and his antics, I wonder what lies in store in the months and years to come. Shall I keep you posted?

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate

Leave us our freedom to decide for ourselves

Earlier today I posted the following message on a popular social media site:

I’m getting so sick and tired of people bragging ‘I got vaccinated’. Well good for you, what do you want, a medal? I DID NOT get vaccinated because I don’t play Russian roulette with my health. I’ve been fine and safe for 1,5 years and I’ll continue to be fine. And if I get infected, so what, I have every chance of recovery.

An online friend, let’s call him Max, responded with:

So you’re good with the 4 million dead folks? 

Of course, I’m not good with four million people dying, but let’s look at this realistically.

1.35 million people die every year of car accidents. Yet we all get in our cars every day that take us from point A to point B. While some people drive carefully, others throw caution to the wind. They drive drunk, they drive under the influence of drugs, they exceed the speed limit, or drive with an unsafe vehicle.

Add to that the death toll of people who die on motorcycles, bicycles, and skateboards. Come to think of it, even pedestrians aren’t safe. They can fall, hit their head, and die. They can cross a street and be mowed down by a car. They can even be hit on sidewalks.

Road Traffic Injuries and Deaths-A Global Problem
Road traffic crashes are a leading cause of death in the United States for people aged 1-54,1 and they are the leading…http://www.cdc.gov

2.3 million people die of work-related accidents and diseases. Yet every day people go to work. People working in an office are fairly safe, but what about those in high-risk jobs? Construction workers, window washers, roofers, fishermen, police officers, firemen, etc. What if these people suddenly decided that their job was too dangerous and decided to pack it in.

These were the deadliest jobs in the US last year, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics
There were over 5,300 work-related deaths in 2019. Drivers accounted for 1,480 of them —
around one in five workers…www.cnn.com

World Statistic
The ILO estimates that some 2.3 million women and men around the world succumb to work-related accidents or diseases…http://www.ilo.org

17.9 million people die of heart disease each year. Yet the majority of people happily drink alcohol, knowing full well that alcohol leads to high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, not to mention liver cancer. They gobble up hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza, and other junk food. Do they think of their cholesterol? Does it even cross their mind that they could keel over at any time from a heart attack?

And what about stress? While the majority of people stick to 9–5 jobs, quite a number of them are overachievers, working 50, 60, or even more hours a week. They want to meet deadlines, they want to please their boss, they want that promotion, they are in competition with others, they want to earn more money. Do they ever consider that this insane work schedule takes its toll on their health?

Cardiovascular diseases (heart attack, stroke)
Cardiovascular diseases (CVDs) are the number 1 cause of death globally, taking an estimated 17.9 million lives each…www.who.int

So don’t tell me that I don’t care about the four million people who died of the Covid-19 virus. I do care, but I care about my health too.

I read about people developing blood clots, I read about people developing heart disease, I read about people developing cerebral palsy.

True, those are isolated cases. Millions of people received the vaccine and are fine, but some of them are not. Can you guarantee me that I will be fine? Or will I be one of the few who will die of the side effects of the vaccine?

I don’t know. You don’t know. Nobody knows because the vaccine hasn’t been around long enough. It’s not even FDA-approved.

And what about the long-term side effects. True, those vaccinated might be safe (for a while) from the Covid-19 virus, but what about later in life? What will this vaccine do to them in the long run? Will they be more susceptible to certain diseases? Will they still be able to have children? Will those children be born normally? Again, nobody knows because the vaccine hasn’t been around long enough.

People have strong opinions about the vaccine. Those who are vaccinated will defend their point of view and shun those who are not vaccinated. Those who are against the vaccine will defend their point of view, pointing out the high risk.

Why can’t we leave each other alone and respect each others’ decisions? If someone wants the vaccine, fine. If someone doesn’t, that should be fine too. Leave us our freedom to decide. Why go around bragging with stickers, buttons, and other nonsense. 

In fact, leave us our freedom to speak and to publish. Any messages speaking against the vaccine are deleted from social media sites. Mine was deleted and those of my friends were too.

In a way, the government is to blame for the lack of trust. We have been lied to for so long, about so many things, that we can no longer trust them. Do they have our best interest at heart or do they have a stake in the pharmaceutical companies?

Pfizer made a whopping 15 billion dollars with their vaccine. Safe to say, Moderna and Astra are laughing all the way to the bank too.

Pfizer’s Covid-19 vaccine is set to be one of the most lucrative drugs in the world
Pfizer expects to sell $15 billion worth of Covid-19 vaccines in 2021. That would make it the second-highest…qz.com

The fact is, nobody is safe and everybody should still be cautious. Wear a mask, practice social distancing and wash hands. It’s not because you are partially or fully vaccinated that you can’t get the Covid-19 virus anymore or that you can’t transmit it to others. 

The Ultimate Guide to Meditation

In meditation it is often advised to clear your mind. If you ever tried that you will know that thinking of nothing is impossible. Thoughts constantly flash through your mind or your mind wanders.

Rather than pulling your mind back to the here and now, let it wander. In fact, take your mind for a stroll with this exercise and find true serenity.

Imagine yourself in a cottage. See a cheerful fire in the fireplace, a rustic dining table with six chairs, a lounge with overstuffed chair, a chandelier casting a golden glow over the room. On the kitchen table there’s a large bowl of salad, while a delicious aroma is coming from the oven.

You decide to go mushroom picking. You open the door of your cottage, close it behind you and pick up a basket that’s left on the porch. You make your way through the front garden, enjoying the sight and scent of wildflowers. You open the gate and close it behind you.

You walk along a meadow, where thousands of yellow buttercups and bluebells bob their little heads in a gentle breeze. You feel the warmth of the sun on your face and the softness of the grass under your feet.

From the meadow you enter a forest. You’re surrounded by tall trees, the sun filtering through the foliage. You hear birds singing and squirrels playing. Butterflies are resting on the undergrowth.

As you walk along, you see a variety of mushrooms. They stand together like miniature umbrellas. Some are brown, some red with white speckles, some an unusual shade of blue. You know exactly which ones to take and which ones to avoid. You carefully place them in your basket.

At the edge of the forest you come across a rock formation. You enter through a narrow opening and find yourself in a cave. An old man is sitting on a bench by a fire. He has long white hair, a white beard and is dressed in brown linen robe. He looks at you and beckons to join him.

You sit next to him. There is no need to talk. When his watery blue eyes meet yours, he can read what’s on your mind. When his wrinkled hand with paper thin skin and gnarled fingers takes yours, he eases your burden.

You get up, leave the cave, cross the forest and the meadow. Back at your cottage you open the gate to the front yard and close it behind you. You open the front door and close it. You’re home. You place the basket of mushrooms in on the kitchen counter and move to the lounge.

You kick off your shoes and lie down on the couch. You’re tired from your walk, tired but happy. You fall asleep with a contented smile on your face.

Three Hair Remedies Guaranteed to Work

Whether through age, an illness, or a medical treatment, losing hair can be a devastating experience. Fortunately, there is hope. Forget hormones (they have been linked to cancer), forget vitamin supplements, and give those products that promise a lot but deliver little a miss. I’ll tell you about three hair remedies that are guaranteed to work. I know they work because I tried them myself.

The magic trio

In a glass or ceramic bowl, mix two tablespoons of castor oil, one tablespoon of aloe Vera, and one vitamin E capsule. Castor oil is rich in Ricinoleic acids, which not only feeds the hair and scalp but prevents premature greying. Aloe Vera will repair your damaged hair cells due to its proteolytic enzymes. These enzymes give hair a boost for faster growth. Vitamin E contains natural antioxidants which will encourage hair to grow while reducing stress on the hair follicles.

Apply the mixture of these three ingredients directly onto your scalp and the length of your hair. Do not brush or comb your hair as the aloe vera gel will make it sticky. Leave the mixture in for at least an hour and then shampoo and condition as usual.

For optimal results, place the mixture in a bowl of hot water. If the mixture is warm your scalp with absorb the oils easier. However, DO NOT MICROWAVE.
 
Mustard seed oil

An equally effective, but cheaper hair growth remedy is mustard seed oil. The omega 3 fatty acids, anti-fungal and antibacterial properties in the mustard seed oil are what hair needs to grow and stay healthy. If you want to try this remedy, apply a generous amount of the oil all over your scalp and comb the oil through your hair with a large-toothed comb. For medium or long hair it is recommended to pull your hair in a knot or ponytail to prevent stains on your clothes. For maximum effect, the mustard seed oil should stay in your hair for at least six hours. If so preferred you can leave the oil overnight. To prevent stains on your pillow, cover the pillow with a towel. Wash and condition your hair as usual.

Onion juice
 
For people with a really tight budget, there is onion juice. Onion juice is known to stimulate blood circulation due to its high keratin content, thus promoting hair growth. Simply place two or three large onions in a juicer and apply the juice to your scalp. Leave the juice in place for one or two hours and then shampoo and condition as usual. The only down point with this remedy is that onion has a rather potent smell.

It is recommended that you use your favorite method twice a week for the first three months. Then once a week to keep your hair in tip-top shape.

To further, promote hair growth and limit damage, do not perm or color your hair. Both treatments contain chemicals that will harm your hair. You might also want to avoid blow drying, brushes, and tight-toothed combs. Far better to air dry your hair and use the widest toothed comb that you can find. When you comb, do it gently. Start a the bottom of the hair shaft and gradually work your way up.

if you find it difficult to comb through your hair, apply a tiny amount of Argan oil. This oil is non-greasy and can be applied on wet or dry hair.

Keep in mind that with neither of these remedies you will experience a difference overnight. You need to be patient, but after two or three months you will definitely see and feel a difference.

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Tough Interview Questions and How To Answer Them

As if interviews aren’t stressful enough, interviewers like to throw in some tough questions to get a glimpse into the candidate’s character.  Sometimes these questions seem quite innocent, but your answer could make or break your chance of getting the job.  Let’s have a look at though interview questions and how to answer them.

Tell me a little about yourself

Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it?  But this question is a minefield.  Depending on your answers the interviewer will pick up if you are merely confident or totally blasé.  If you have a career plan or prefer to fly by the seat of your pants.  While it’s acceptable if not preferable to be confident, try not to stick too many feathers in your own hat.  And while you don’t have to have your future mapped out, it is recommended to have some idea of where you’re going and how to get there.

Why do you think you are right for this job?

Whatever you do, don’t say that you are a hard worker, that you like the responsibility that comes with the job or anything that refers to your character.  Instead, focus on the company.  The interviewer has heard these kinds of clichés a hundred times.  Instead of focussing on yourself, focus on the company.  Show a belief in their products or services.  Be enthusiastic about that.

Why did you leave your previous job?

Another minefield.  If you quit because you were bored with your job or didn’t like your boss, you can’t say that.  You can never speak ill of a past employer.  Neither can you say that you were bored, because the new company might wonder if you will get bored with them.  If you were fired it’s best to be honest without going into detail.  The company you’re applying with is going to find out anyway when you need to supply references.  You could word it differently though and say that you were let go because you and your boss didn’t see eye to eye. 

Where do you see yourself in five years?

This question is will reveal more than you think.  If you answer right away: you have given your future a lot of thought and know exactly what you want.  You are ambitious and will use any means to get to an end.  If you answer after a long pause: you haven’t given your future any thought at all.  You are happy with your life as it is, and will take your future one step at a time. 

What are your weaknesses?

Does anyone really want to reveal their weaknesses?  Of course not.  Whichever weakness you admit to, don’t say that you are a perfectionist, too organized, can’t work with people who don’t live up to their full potential, or anything else that will make you look perfect.  You are not perfect, nobody is, so stop trying to look like you are.  A good answer might be, that you are more of a leader than a follower and that your ideas are not always welcomed by management.  Companies like leaders and like new ideas.  They might not always like your ideas, but they like someone with initiative.

What are your salary expectations?

This may seem like a thought question.  After all, set your salary too low and you might be underselling yourself.  Set your salary too high and it may cost you the job.  The answer to this particular problem is simple, name a salary range.  If for instance, you want to earn $50,000, you could say that you would like to earn between $48,000 and $58,000.  Chances are, in such a range they will offer you $54,000. 

The best advice anyone can give you before going to an interview, is to be yourself.  While it’s a good idea to be prepared and research the matter of tough interview questions and how to answer them, don’t memorize the answers.  Interviewers go online too and know what’s out there.  They can spot a copycat a mile away.  Read the questions and answers and then make them your own. 

It’s alright to stumble over an answer or having to take a minute before replying.  Being a smooth talker doesn’t always work in your favor.  An interviewer has seen and heard it all and will enjoy your honesty.

https://dimaconcepts.godaddysites.com/

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Gentlemen, this one’s for you

Wonder no more what women want

Recently I came across the story ‘I still don’t understand women’s taste in men’.

Poor Sean, the guy has been around the block a few times and I can’t blame him for being confused. He’s looking for a nice lady, he’s turned to women to make him understand women, but he still can’t figure them out.

He should have come to me, I could have helped him out in under 60 seconds. If he had asked me what do women want I would have told him … money.

Ladies everywhere will shake their heads vehemently, stating “That’s not true. Not me, I don’t care about money.” And I’m sure that’s true, some women do care about the man more than his bank account, but let’s look at things in general.

Let’s put it to the test.

Let’s say that we put Sean in this beautiful Lamborghini and have him rolling up to a club. I am quite sure that women will fall over themselves to be with him.

Photo by Justus Menke on Pexels.com

Let’s say that he takes a lady shopping, pauses in front of Tiffany’s and says “See anything you like? If you fancy that ring I’ll get it for you.”

Do you think she’s going to let go of him? A guy who drives a Lamborghini and places a four-carat diamond on her finger … you better believe it that she’s going to hang on for dear life.

I don’t know what Sean does for a living, but let’s say that we create a profile online for him and instead of telling the truth we’re going to lie through our teeth.

As a profile picture, we’re going to have him standing next to his beautiful Lamborghini, in front of a mansion, preferably in an Armani suit and sporting a Rolex wristwatch, and we’re going to say that his profession is a neurosurgeon. My guess is that his profile will get flooded with responses.

Why else do you think young women shack up with older men? For their looks? For their great personality? No, for their money. Take their millions away and the women will disappear like snow of the 4th of July.

Still not convinced? Why do you think women ask men what they do for a living while on a date? Do you think they care about your profession? Not at all, they want to know how much money you’re making. Say that you’re any kind of doctor, lawyer, engineer, or architect and you’ll see the light go on in their eyes. Say that you’re a dishwasher, work for a burger joint, or shop assistant and that light will dim significantly. Say that you’re only doing this job to put yourself through university, while you’re studying medicine, law, engineering, or architecture and there you go, there’s that light again.

If you’re thinking that I don’t have a high opinion of women, you’re right, I don’t. I’ve seen far too many women giving men the cold shoulder because they have the wrong profession. Or worse, the men don’t even try because they consider the woman out of their league.

How many perfectly good men are out there, who no woman wants because they think they’re not good enough for them?

https://dimaconcepts.godaddysites.com/

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Gentlemen, this one’s for you

Wonder no more what women want

Recently I came across a story by Sean Kernan entitled ‘I still don’t understand women’s taste in men’.

Poor Sean, the guy has been around the block a few times and I can’t blame him for being confused. He’s looking for a nice lady, he’s turned to women to make him understand women, but he still can’t figure them out.

He should have come to me, I could have helped him out in under 60 seconds. If he had asked me what do women want I would have told him … money.

Ladies everywhere will shake their heads vehemently, stating “That’s not true. Not me, I don’t care about money.” And I’m sure that’s true, some women do care about the man more than his bank account, but let’s look at things in general.

Let’s put it to the test.

Let’s say that we put Sean in this beautiful Lamborghini and have him rolling up to a club. I am quite sure that women will fall over themselves to be with him.

Photo by Justus Menke on Pexels.com

Let’s say that he takes a lady shopping, pauses in front of Tiffany’s and says “See anything you like? If you fancy that ring I’ll get it for you.”

Do you think she’s going to let go of him? A guy who drives a Lamborghini and places a four-carat diamond on her finger … you better believe it that she’s going to hang on for dear life.

I don’t know what Sean does for a living, but let’s say that we create a profile online for him and instead of telling the truth we’re going to lie through our teeth.

As a profile picture, we’re going to have him standing next to his beautiful Lamborghini, in front of a mansion, preferably in an Armani suit and sporting a Rolex wristwatch, and we’re going to say that his profession is a neurosurgeon. My guess is that his profile will get flooded with responses.

Why else do you think young women shack up with older men? For their looks? For their great personality? No, for their money. Take their millions away and the women will disappear like snow of the 4th of July.

Still not convinced? Why do you think women ask men what they do for a living while on a date? Do you think they care about your profession? Not at all, they want to know how much money they’re making. Say that you’re any kind of doctor, lawyer, engineer, or architect and you’ll see the light go on in their eyes. Say that you’re a dishwasher, work for a burger joint, or shop assistant and that light will dim significantly. Say that you’re only doing this job to put yourself through university, while you’re studying medicine, law, engineering, or architecture and there you go, there’s that light again.

If you’re thinking that I don’t have a high opinion of women, you’re right, I don’t. I’ve seen far too many women giving men the cold shoulder because they have the wrong profession. Or worse, the men don’t even try because they consider the woman out of their league.

How many perfectly good men are out there, who no woman wants because they think they’re not good enough for them?

https://dimaconcepts.godaddysites.com/

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Are you afraid of a spider?

I nearly suffered a heart attack this morning

There I was, checking updates on a popular social media site on my phone. Alex shared a little something from her garden, Grace posted a political comment, Noreen showed a beautiful cat moment. I casually scrolled down when suddenly … EEEIH !!! (loud scream) there was a picture, posted by Lisa B, of an ugly spider (is there such a thing as a beautiful spider?).

My phone went flying, literally. I got such a fright of seeing this ugly monster and was so disgusted by it, that I threw the phone away from me as far as I could. Fortunately, it went sailing in the direction of the sofa where it landed with a soft thud. And I wondered … why do people do this? The majority of folks are afraid of spiders, so why post pictures of them?

Anyway, along with the picture, Lisa B. posted the question if anybody knew what kind of spider this was. And I thought … WHO CARES? Whether it’s a little spider or a big spider, I hate them, I hate them all. Whether I see a real one or just a picture, my heart skips one or several beats.

I do realize that spiders play an important role in nature, and if I see one outside I wouldn’t harm it in any way, but if a spider dares to set one or all of its eight legs in my house … it’s toast.

As such, in my opinion, there are only two ways to deal with a spider … squash it, or suck it up with a vacuum cleaner. Not that I perform either of these options myself. When I see a spider, I scream, run away, and let someone else take care of the monster.

Some might say that there is another option … treating the spider to an anti-bug spray. All I can say about that is … it doesn’t work. Bug spray might work on ants and other little critters, but spiders … they just pretend to be dead.

Many years ago I came across a spider on the kitchen floor. Since I was home alone I realized I had to do something before the spider took off to a place where we’d never find it. So after I had recovered from the initial shock, I grabbed a can of bug repellent and sprayed so much on the spider I nearly gassed myself.

The spider lay there, curled up in a ball. Now all I had to do was get the dustpan and a brush, sweep up the body and get rid of it. Could I do that? No, I couldn’t. I tried, I honestly tried but I couldn’t bring myself to brushing op the black ball.

And then I got an idea … I would vacuum it up. With a vacuum I wouldn’t have to go near the spider, I could use the long metal hose and do the deed from a safe distance.

Off I went to get the vacuum cleaner, plugged in it, and dragged the machine into the kitchen. Much to my surprise to spider was gone. The bloody thing had bided its time for me to leave the room, unfolded its legs, and ran off.

For days I looked for the spider, but it seemed to have disappeared. As such, I can only assume that it went outside for some fresh air. Which was fine by me. Outside is where spiders belong.

Which also leaves me wondering about their Creator. If He can create animals so cute and adorable like kittens, puppies, and bunnies, why make spiders so frightening? A sense of humor perhaps?

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Let’s talk about men

There’s been a lot of talk about men within the past 48 hours.  On-line and off.  I have tried to get my point across and failed miserably.  I can understand why some are confused about me.  On the one hand, I readily admit that I don’t like men; yet in the same breath, I state that I get along very well with them.  How to explain this?  

Jack Nicolson was looking for a few good men. Women all over the world are joining him in that quest. How do women know when they find a member of the male species that it’s a good one?  They can’t squeeze him for ripeness; they can’t examine him (like they would apples and tomatoes) for brown spots showing signs of decay.   It seems to me that women, where it comes to men, are rather reckless.

  • Before taking a job, a candidate can research the company online or talk to past and present employees.
  • Before buying kitchen appliances, most women read the reviews.
  • Before buying clothes or shoes, the chosen item is tried on for fit and comfort.

So why are women who deal with an item they are supposed to keep for life, take a man they meet at face value?  

Some might say they don’t, that’s what dating is for, to get ‘a feel’ for the guy.  True, but not exactly accurate.  How many people – men and women alike – show their true selves while dating?  I think it’s safe to say that before going on a date, a man will shower and shave, comb his hair, and put on something nice.  In other words, he will show himself from his best side.   

If he steps over the line and swears, gets upset or worse gets a little violent, he will state that he was not himself or that ordinary he is not like that.  And women swallow it.  They are so in love that they don’t see the ‘brown spots’.  And even if they do, the sight of the flowers they get presented with, or the size of the diamond in the engagement ring will cloud their vision.   

When I say that I don’t like men, it’s because I’ve seen too many bad apples.  Hence my hesitation to ‘buy’ one.    Over the weekend I talked with Vicky (not her real name).  She got tearful when she admitted to me that she was afraid she was going to end up an old maid.  “Vicky,” I said, “the term old maid is so passé.”  “You know what I mean,” she said, “I’m afraid I won’t find anyone to grow old with, to take care of me.”  

That’s when I started to wonder … why do women get married?  Is it because of love or is it to have some company in their golden years?  Is it for financial reasons?  Is that all that men are good for?  A body to share a space with and to keep the bank account in the positive?  Is that why I steer clear of men?  Because I don’t feel the need for male company and I don’t need to be taken care of?  

Do men feel this when they are in my company? I can laugh and joke around with them.  They know that, unlike Vicky, I don’t want anything from them. I’m not going to chase them and I don’t want to be chased.  They can be themselves, without me being shocked or getting stars in my eyes. Do I get my point across? Do you get it? If you do … great; if you don’t then I guess you have to know me to understand me.

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https://dimaconcepts.godaddysites.com/

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Why shacking up before you get married is a good idea

Couples are more reluctant than ever about getting married. Whether they are crazy in love or just seem right for each other, saying those wedding vows that will bind them to each other for life is a risk fewer couples are willing to take. Couples offer the following reasons for why shacking up before you get married is a good idea.

You don’t really know someone until you live with them

Dating someone a few times a week with an occasional sleep-over may give you an idea of their personality, but it doesn’t show you what they are like on a day to day basis.

Little things make a difference

When you live with someone 24/7, you get to experience firsthand how the person handles stress, disappointment, anger, and life in general. For some those little flaws might be endearing, while for others they could become major obstacles.

Avoid taking each other for granted

Others prefer shacking up before marriage because it keeps both partners on their toes. Once married a lot of men and women feel they have it made and overnight develop a careless attitude. They relax to the point that their partner no longer recognizes the person they dated. They may quit their job, put on weight, or generally no longer take care of themselves. By living together, especially in the early stages, there is always the chance of the other calling it quits. That percentage of danger keeps the relationship fresher.

Children and family in the mix

If one or both partners have children, shacking up before you get married is certainly a good idea. The adults may love each other, but can they tolerate each other’s offspring? It worked for the Brady bunch, but it may not work for you if the kids don’t get along with each other which, in turn, puts stress on your relationship. Or the kids might like each other, but you might dislike your partners’ kids.

The same could apply to extended family members. You and your partner may get along perfectly, but inconsiderate parents and difficult siblings could sour the deal.

Sexual compatibility

You might love each other dearly, but are you sexually compatible? While you may have tested the waters already, dating sex and relationship sex are two different things. Your partner’s needs may be different from yours over the long haul or you may discover some unusual requests which you may or may not like.

Maintaining a healthy and compatible sex life over the long-term becomes a challenge for all couples. Shacking up before you get married can be a good barometer of how your sex life will mature if you remain together.

Financial compatibility

Why shacking up before you get married is a good idea also applies to whether or not the couple is financially compatible. She may love to spend money and be addicted to shoe shopping, while he may be hardcore thrifty. When you live with someone it becomes more difficult for them to hide their money habits.

Lower exit costs if the relationship fails

Probably the biggest reason why shaking up before you get married is so popular is because if the relationship doesn’t work out, no divorce is needed. With no lawyers or alimony in the mix, the couple can walk away with a clean slate without spilling as much financial or emotional blood that usually happens during a divorce.

Most people don’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive first. Before making a legal and spiritual commitment to another person, many couples today are opting to go slow and take that all-important test drive first.

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couple sitting in front of a house